There is nothing worse than putting a lot of energy into progressing or improving something only to find you are back where you started and simply exhausted from your efforts. Despite best intentions you feel like you have again, let yourself or others down.

I have felt this so many times and in particular relating to my health and wellbeing. I would create very intense diet and exercise targets, day in and day out do the hard work, only to find myself falling back into old habits, exhausted, and burnt out. I would get sick and then need to then take time to recover, and literally be back at square one. From there, the cycle would begin again….and again…and again. I felt like a total yoyo or on a merry-go-round and didn’t know how to get off.  

To add to this, I am guilty for taking on too much and pushing myself to still show up no matter what, and deliver. Now, don’t get me wrong, the ability to be able to focus and execute is an art. But, to deliver at all costs, including neglect of one’s own health, is well, unhealthy. I think I have felt for a lot of my life that I was only worthy IF I could meet ALL the expectations of others around me and achieve ALL the goals I set out for myself. It was just too much!

It all changed for me when I quit my office job in December 2022 (which for the record I did truly love) and moved to Sri Lanka with my ‘hondima mahatheya' (amazing husband in Singhalese), and two children Dilen 'Bundy' and Amaya 'Nangi Jungi' (ages, almost 2 and 5).

It is here we started the school chapter of life, for which school terms consisted of three 12-week semesters per year alongside three 4-week holiday breaks in between. School hours were 7.30am - 12pm, Monday to Friday (minus all of the Sri Lankan public holidays and other days school decides to cancel classes). Without a job to dictate my core schedule, this immediately gave me an overarching time construct to create my day to day life from (one would say ‘freedom within boundaries’).

So, I decided I would set myself a few key project areas to work on while the kids were at school. My initial projects being:

1. Sustainable Exercise, Diet & Rest (‘sustainable’ being the optimal word here…enough of the YoYo!)

2. Learning Singhalese (one of the two native languages in Sri Lanka)

3. Volunteering @HandUp Congo (HuC) (helping run Virtual MeetUps for a charity called HuC to raise awareness and funds)

4. Travel Research and Planning (Researching and experimenting how to travel in Asia with kids - YAY!)

Now, I acknowledge this is a rare and unique opportunity to be able to leave a job, leave one’s home country, and start a fresh (literally three 30kg bags and a stowaway soft toy unicorn for our family of four). But even so, the change in approach and transformation I went through I do think is something many of us can explore in an array of different contexts, life chapters and circumstances.

So, by the end of the first term, I felt I had been very actively engaged and put in a lot of effort to in all project areas. However, there were days I still had let someone down or not made the level of progress I wanted to. Sometimes this was due to a child being sick, being sick myself, life admin taking over, or simply tasks taking much longer than I expected (does this sound familiar to you?). Despite my new circumstances I still felt the YoYo cycle creeping in. There was too much on my plate. And, to add to it I had a deep longer to learn more about longevity, sustainable food and exercise practices. I was keen to learn more from experts in the field (rather than university of YouTube, as my dad calls it) and perhaps one day be in a position to share my learnings and help others in this area. How on earth would I add MORE to the already full agenda?

So, rather than more (which I know often what we want and what society tells us is good) by third term, I decided I was going to have to do less in all other projects to make space for a new project ‘Yoga Teacher Training’. I had found an online, self-paced, yoga teacher training course (by Drishti Beats) and I decided I would complete it in the following 12-week term. I was already practicing yoga on my rest days and was keen to find out more and experiment with the concept of 'yoga lifestyle'. I had a dear friend tell me not to rush it and enjoy the process of learning itself (very thankful for these wise words from my friend Miss Shani). Don’t laugh too hard but it took me a whole year to complete the course. This was the real turning point for me in transforming from YoYo to Flow.

Fast forward a year and I can not tell you how different I feel. The course itself exceeded my expectations in so many ways are really went beyond my initial expectations of learning what yoga poses were, their Sanskrit names and how to string together a sequence to teach from. It taught me a set of ethical guidelines and a thought framework (otherwise known as the Yama's and Niyama’s) to use in everyday life, and how to be more intentional with my time. And, most importantly how to let go. I have had to learn to say no more often, do less, and be open and accepting of the web of life (knowing it can always be better and it can always be worse – wise words from my son, Dilen Bundy).

In very practical terms,

• Indicators - I changed the indicators I look to which guide my day to day decisions. For example, rather than looking at KGs on a scale ( i.e. my own weight), I look at the numbers on the back of food packets and wherever possible seek out raw foods rather than numbers themselves. Rather than looking at hours of exercise I now look at the type and timing of movement in my day.

• Rest - I made daily rest a top priority over everything else. The snooze button does not exist but going to bed early does (or a 20min power nap when needed). I actually read somewhere that the best way to sleep in is to go to bed early. I love this! And, whenever possible if you can align the time you go to sleep and wake up to be as close to the same time each day it helps your body get into the rhythm of good sound sleep.

• Early Bird - I get up before everyone else in my house to create more time for myself and be there fully for others thereafter.

• Exceptions - I make room for exceptions, reflect on what I can learn from, and fully let go of the things that don't work out or outside of my control. I try my best to make the most within the circumstances given, knowing whether it be good, bad, or in-between, this time too will pass.

And with that, I finally feel I can now find flow in my day, take a very kind and nourishing approach to diet and exercise, safegaurd and ensure adequate rest, and am very positive for whatever is in this life chapter and the next.

For the record, I am not where I want to be, I haven’t ‘made it’ or hit ‘mission complete’. However, while still have goals and projects in play, my focus is much more on the process than the destination, how things feel on the inside rather than look on the outside, the moments shared rather than the targets met, and beauty found in learning and practicing the art of living together. If you want to learn more about some of the tools or frameworks that have helped me, check out my resources page or my blog on ‘How to get the most out of doing yoga’. Enjoy!

If you have other ideas on how you have found your flow in life and reduce the YoYo PLEASE let me know via the contact form below. I would love to hear from you and learn from you.

#sharingiscaringandcaringisfun.